What’s Your eCommerce Horoscope?

The end of spooky season is upon us, and we couldn’t think of a better way to bid the ghosts and goblins adieu than with these horoscopes written just for you! If you’re an eCommerce business owner with a mystical side, this blog post should be right up your (dark) alley. If not, we still encourage you to grab a cosmopolitan and peer into the cosmos — you might be surprised by what the universe has to say!

 Psst… These predictions will be aimed towards next couple of months, which will be mega busy to say the least.

A Quick Astrological Introduction

It’s a common misconception that astrology is somehow supposed to dictate our lives — quite the contrary! Instead, astrology reflects what happens here on Earth. There’s no why or how to it, and that’s where the magic lies — if you believe in magic, that is.

It all starts with a birth chart, which is kind of like a polaroid of what the sky looked like the moment you were born. You probably already know about your most famous zodiac placement, your Sun sign — but did you know your chart has nine other planets? (For the sake of convenience, the Sun is referred to as a planet, even though it’s technically a luminary.) These planets are spread out across twelve different houses, which are in turn ruled by the twelve different signs. It’s a lot to keep track of, and that’s not even including your asteroids, stars, and aspects. Don’t worry though — we’ll keep it simple for now!

Horoscopes are typically best suited to be read according to your ascendant, also known as your rising sign. To find out what your ascendant is, you’ll need the exact time, location, and date of your birth. Plug that into an astrological calculator and voila! Now, if you don’t have that information, using your Sun sign will work too.

Alright, let’s jump in!

Aries ♈️

It’s full steam ahead! As much as you want to go-go-go, even the finest sports cars need to be refueled. Stay two steps ahead by recognizing the past, honoring the present, and planning for the future. You’re the first bud of spring, but wouldn’t it be nice to bloom year-round?

Taurus ♉️ 

Slow and steady wins the race, except when sh*t hits the fan. Unfortunately, these hectic times are just not your speed. The best thing you can do is work through your discomfort until you’re able to kick back and relax once more. Life is asking you to be a little more flexible, so start stretching!

Gemini ♊️ 

After a lifetime of wearing many hats, it’s hard to commit to only one. Shall you go with the newsboy cap, the beret, or the fedora? Making decisions is hard, but beware of jumping ships — this is the time to stay on course until you’re able to dock safely. Luckily, you have multiple personalities to keep you entertained.

Cancer ♋️ 

When the going gets tough, it’s tempting to shut down. But wait! You’ll feel so much better if you don’t. Bottling your feelings up never does anyone any good, so find a reliable ear (or shoulder) and spill the beans you’ve been pressure cooking inside. Just watch out for the steam!

Leo ♌️

All that is gold does not glitter. Don’t get swept up by the glitz and glamour of shiny new opportunities — if it seems too good to be true, it probably is. The world’s a stage and you’re the star, but do you have the right ensemble to accompany you? If not, you’ll need to start recasting some roles.

Virgo ♍️

Fact: Perfectionism is an imperfection. By aiming for the impossible, you’re ignoring what you’ve already made possible. We’re not asking you to drop your standards completely, but maybe lower them to something a human being can realistically accomplish. Now off to being perfectly imperfect! Or is it imperfectly perfect? What were we saying again?

Libra ♎️

Life is more fun through rose-colored glasses — unless you’re colorblind. Harmony and balance are noble pursuits, but idyllic pastures are seldom reached without a little elbow grease. Embrace what comes, but don’t lose yourself in the process. If something doesn’t go as planned, how about taking the other road diverged in a yellow wood?

Scorpio ♏️

Ouch! Save your stinger for behind the scenes. Or never, because those things really hurt. We’re not calling you a control freak, but know that it’s a-okay to delegate tasks. Relying on other people is not a sign of weakness, especially if they’ve passed your very thorough background checks.

Sagittarius ♐️ 

You can be the juiciest, ripest peach in all of the land, but there will still be people who hate peaches — what can ya do? There’s no way to please everyone, and camouflaging is for chameleons, not people. If you know your job has been well done, don’t go back and ask for a medium rare. 

Capricorn ♑️

No matter your skill level, you’re bound to run into some pickles you just can’t toss into a salad. Immediate results aren’t necessarily better, and playing the long-game could secure some big wins. Life imitates Monopoly — sometimes you’re in jail, sometimes you pass go and collect $200.

Aquarius ♒️

Like the Venezulean poodle moth, you’re unique and shrouded in mystery. Unlike the Venezuelan poodle moth, you shouldn’t wait to be discovered. Put yourself out there because if you don’t, who will? Say goodbye to the same old, same old and ask for your hot cocoa shaken, not stirred.

Pisces ♓️

Daydreaming again? Your imagination is off the charts, but it doesn’t mean much if you keep swimming in the fishbowl of your mind. Expand your horizons to expand your possibilities. A leap of faith is all it takes, and the ocean is waiting for you to dive in… but not before you grab a life jacket!

No matter what your sign is, there is always a chance for success, even in this very unusual part of history. Shoot for the moon — the worst that could happen is you land on a sign that’s not compatible with yours. 🤷🏻‍♀️

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